we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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