think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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