So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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