Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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i think i scared a bird with my dick
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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