i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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