i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize