Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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