I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize