There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't turn off my feet"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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