So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
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Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry my hands just texted you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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