totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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