9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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