Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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