apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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