I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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