Pappa wants mamma naked
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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