I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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