Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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