video games are the ultimate cock blocker
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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