i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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