and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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