I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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