btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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