Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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