i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
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