Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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