O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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