So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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