did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize