So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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