You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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