Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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