Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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