My hand turned me down
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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