He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize