My nipple is on Facebook.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she told me i tasted like america
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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