D3 body, D1 cock
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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