i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize