she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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