Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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