I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize