Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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