I wish I could teleport
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize