I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize