I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize