I hope mine doesn't look like that
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize