i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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