i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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