I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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