If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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