I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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